Dark Days Come Full Circle

I felt like I needed to explain exactly everything behind this idea, where I’ve been at mentally, and the person that inspired the name for it.

It has been a long while since I actually expressed myself through my blog. Many of you remember that when I first created the brand I packaged every shipment with a “silent letter” which basically expressed where I was at mentally during the time of the product being purchased.

I’ve always been an expressive person through the brand and felt like it was my duty to express myself to the most open extent. I think it’s without question that this year has been nothing but different and blind-siding. I haven’t felt like myself since the start of this virus. As many of you know, I am heavy into fitness and working out. On March 15th, my birthday, I’m in the gym getting my workout in. At that time everyone was asked to wrap up their workouts and in 15mins they’d be closing down due to the states decisions to close fitness centers as being non-essential. Months pass and I start to feel myself drifting

This became a huge problem for me because a little over a year ago my doctor diagnosed me with a medical condition which is a syndrome that causes depression and anxiety. Unfortunately this thing could worsen and potentially cause bigger issues. Although in my past I experienced these things to a degree, I’ve never really dealt with these things at this level. I’m talking about anxiety to the point where my nerves are constantly running, I’m constantly thinking, I feel bothered, I can’t even enjoy sleeping. I fall asleep and I’m waking up constantly through-out the night. My nightmares become much more frequent and constant. I’m waking up exhausted and tired like I just finished sprinting a couple miles. This syndrome pushed me into a deep depression. A dark place I haven’t been at since my days in the Ville. I start to teeter with death, the thought of it, the thought of not having to wake up exhausted every day just to go exhaust myself doing things that I don’t enjoy just seemed like something I’m at peace with.

I don’t drink or smoke to cope with issues. I don’t really like to talk about the issues because deep down people don’t genuinely care and I understand everybody is going through something of some sort of their own. Everyone always says “check on your strong friends,” meanwhile I feel like I’ve been drowning for 5 months now. But, I understand, people have lives and to be honest I haven’t reached out to my strong friends either so I can’t be mad at anything. That’s my fault. Fitness is literally my go-to. I don’t go to the gym 5-6 days out of the week necessarily because I want to, but because I was told my body needs fitness in-order to function properly. Other than that, I enjoy it because it allows me to clear my mind, exhaust my body for better rest, and it gives me hope.

This specific tee was built off of the reoccurring thoughts I recently had of the dark days I had in the Ville. It’s me finding that connection between my depression in the past and what I’m now coming out of. Its black embroidery is meant to represent the troubles we all face in the cities that we all come from, our Ville’s. I love the tee so much because all-though it looks like the basic black tee, it actually has the Ville embedded in it, which is what lies in most of us.

I’m currently back at the gym, outdoor of course. But, damn does it feel good to be back. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for my lady and the gym.

Behind the Name

When figuring out the details about the tee I was trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to call it and why I wanted to call it whatever I chose. I settled on the “Mayr Ville Tee” named after my good friend Mark Mayr. If your familiar with bro you know his go-to tee has always been a plain black tee. When I first met him in Fayetteville, NC, we met up at the Coffee Scene. He had the black tee on at the time. He shot my first promo video while wearing a black tee. When I was working at the Fayetteville Observer he pulled up on me in the parking lot in a black tee to collect money for another promo video. I just always seen this man wearing the same thing and I thought it was dope, because yea I’d never do that. But, for someone to not give a damn what people thought about him wearing the same exact thing all the time, described his character for me.

Mark never cared for what anyone had to say about what he wore, he just always knew the path he was on. I’m a firm believer in the whole “give people their flowers while they’re alive,” because bro at the end of the day what really matters? It’s the legacy you leave behind, it’s the moments you created with people, it’s the memories. When I think of what Mark represents and who he is as a person, he’s nothing short of being a product of the Ville. He’s always wanted good things for his peers, always pushed those around him, he’s always giving advice and he’s always been about his home. He’s accomplished so many things he used to tell me he wanted to do, like exact details and everything. He manifested it. I’ve always been hella proud of you man, I hope you realize what you mean to your city. I chose to name the tee after him, because not only does the physical aspect match him, but as a person he’s always represented what a Wise Mind is. I joked with him years ago about naming product after him and look lol, here we are. Stay up man, stay strong. Love you bro!

Mayr Ville Tee available this Thursday, September 10th @ 9:10am EST.